our favorite saying... "dont be a beat off."

Whenever someone isn't playing with a lot of confidence, our instructor says, "I guess you had Fancy Feast for breakfast because you're playing like a little kitty cat."

"If you dont know your music, then dont play....playing random crap makes it sound dirty. and you would probably attract less attention flicking off the director..."

"After Watching you play that, I just have to say, I dont like watching you play....at all" LOL Joe Hobbs to Southwind Tenor player

Lol, I posted this one on another thread on drumming games.

"For goodness sakes, guys, your playing quarter notes. Look up from your books and FOLLOW ME!"
-My Band Conductor.

One thing I used to say to the kids I taught:
"There was a vortex of suck (point to two or three members) right there that rep, fix it or push."

LOL! That's a nice one...

"Quit hackin'!"

My personal favorite happened when one of the snares screwed up really bad during field rehearsal and our director stopped the drill, walked onto the field, got face to face with the snare, put his hand on his shoulder and said:
"You know, this wouldn't have happened if you were never born."

A bass on my first year being on a drum line ever couldn't consistently play in time and he had quarter notes for the first sixteen or so measures of the opener. Now anytime someone starts to play in and out of time, we tell that person so stop pulling a "insert that players name here.'

He also had the habit of attacking after a song was over, so now anytime that happens we yell at whoever does it and tells them not to play a 'name here' tag.

Right before one of our bigger comps, we got bussed to another school because we had SATs at ours and we couldn't practice on our field. So everyone is already a little stressed and the aforementioned drummer who had been skipping practices to play golf and run track actually asked if we could slow the tempo down so he could get his playing in time.

Our drum tech flipped on him and put him in his place. I think it was something like;

"Maybe if you actually bothered to come to practice we wouldn't have to slow anything down and you wouldn't suck so much."

Fun times, poor kid.

Our director was explaining to the new kids that when on a line during fundamentals, the balls of your feet should be on the line. Well, when nobody was ending it right, she yells...

"Keep your balls on the line!"

Everyone laughed and she realized what she said. Now she says it every year on purpose....

Another time was when our cymbal player could crash on beats 1 and 3 repeatedly without screwing up. He yelled his name and pointed every time he was supposed to crash. He consistently playing on "e"'s or "and"'s. The instructor turned around mouthing "WHAT THE F***?!"

Also, the tuba player didn't wear deodorant once and wasn't in the right spot so the instructor corrected him and a trumpet player goes "yeah....stinky." Me and the tenor player cracked up and laughed throughout that whole runthrough of the opener.