Granted your best friend becomes better than you.


I wish our drumline didn't receive 2 of our 3 pieces of music the week of band camp.

Granted - you receive music the day of first comp....

I wish less people had to file bankruptcy so I wouldn't have as much work to do...

Granted - you now have no job.

I wish I did not get English homework on the first day of school

Granted you now get a 80 page paper to write on the second day.

I wish i wasnt sick

Granted, your sickness was from testicular cancer. The only way to cure you was to cut off your manhood.

I wish for some chutney.

Granted, but it's made from the aforementioned amputated appendage

I wish I could find a place to teach

Granted, you teach monkeys to speak French in a shack in Guam. Good luck.


I wish for more candy. My friend and I ate a 3 and a half pound bag of candy in the last 2 days. More plz.

Granted, you become a twenty ton creature incapable of moving.

I wish my snare would arrive.

granted, you get no shell, hardware or heads, only the actual snare.

I wish school didn't start thursday.

Granted, school now started 3 months ago and you've missed every day...you've been expelled ggnore




I wish I could think of a wish that had no downside.