I think of this place as a family to everyone that is part of it including me. I think of Webmaestro as our father for some reason. And the moderators and Administrators as our uncles or big brothers. I may think that my drum days might be over for good. I hate my instructors. No one understands the way I perform. They say I don't play from my heart when I feel the music inside of me. My family is really not helping me any. I'm having a real problem with school. I'm kind of really depressed a lot of times. My softball buddies want to know where the old me went. They say I'm not happy anymore. That may be true. I'm seeing a doctor to see if I can get help there. I know that the guy may not understand me at all. So I ask you guys as a sister to you guys if you can help me somehow. I may seem happy in the outside but in the inside I'm not really. It bugs me sometimes too.

What do you mean they don't understand they way you perform? I think you need to pinpoint to problems closely and figure out how to solve them. What problems are you having at school and with your family? When did this occur; did it come about suddenly or gradually. Help us see what the problem is.

Hey man i know how ya feel im like that alot a lot too it jsut doesnt go away. Try and find things that make you happy deep down and do them its the only way to help make it better. i use drumming and i got a gf and i play video games and do other things that make me happy. Give it a shot it might help ya out...

i feel the same way sometimes, being depressed, and i am doing horrible in school, but to get your mind off of it, and get better at performing, everytime you feel depressed or mad, grab some sticks, and i a practice pad, and just play show music, all the cadences you know, warm-ups, anything, and just do that until you dont feel down anymore, that is what i do, and trust me it works, it helps you become a better performer, you will start to be part of the show, or music, i did this all of my freshmen year, and part of this year, it works trust me

To answer to your question AMC this has been happening for about 3 months already. My instructor always says play from your heart and well in me I know I am playing from it. To her I guess I'm not. I have tried getting out a practice pad and drumming but it actually makes it worse. My family thinks that band is a waste of my time. I also play softball which usually makes me happy but they don't agree to it. My mom started to understand how softball and band are important to me after all this happened. Part of my problem might be that I have a really close relationship with my dad who is about 1000 miles away from me in another country. Another country which won't let him out or let me in. My grandparents do not understand the way I am at all. They think everything that I do extracurricular is a piece of crap. I know they want me to go to a good college but I cannot explain to them that these things are what is going to get me there. I just think that no one understand my way of performance. That is why I am not in winter percussion at my school. Those people ruin it for you. Along with the drumline wannabe people who don't switch but still want to be known as drummers. Some are pretty good and I respect them during that amount of time and they can be called drummers during that time but in other times like in the fall they say oh yes I'm in the drumline in the winter so I'm just as good as anyone else. I cannot stand winter because of that. The only people I can stand are the ones who did fall and are "True Percussionists". It's kind of hard to believe that so many little things can make me unhappy. School is hard and I'm getting help from teachers. As for the other stuff I have no clue on what to do.

Post deleted by Middle Age Man

Sorry to hear that your going through a difficult time. I sortof went through the same thing, where no one understands why your playing drums and telling them you like it isn't a good enough answer. You said that your mom is beginning to understand, but if she still doesn't maybe you can try and talk to her and explain why these activities are important to you and how they will help later in life, such as applying to colleges.

As for your grandparents try and show them why you are learning percussion. Maybe you can perform something for them or have them come to a band concert or marchingband activity...anything just to show them what your doing and why your doing it. My grandparents live across the country from me and i didnt know what they thought of when they knew i was a drummer. Maybe they thought i would turn into a crazy drummer of a bandwith problems and stuff...but now i know they are proud of me after i sent them a video of me performing a solo. Maybe this would help you.

WIth your instructer you should ask him/her why they think you are not playing fomr your heart when you really are. If they do not know why they think this then don't listen to them and continue playing how you play. If they do tell you any good advice try and use it to see if it works.

I hate wannabe drummers. Kids that come out from the band and just try and pick up sticks thinking they know all. IF you are mad because they say they are better than you or because they think they are drummers just don't pay attention to them. If you know your good then you are good no one can tell you otherwise. I have people coming up to me all the time saying they can beat me at drums for what ever reasons but I just leave it be and don't pay attention. You can't let these people bring you down. I was about to quit the drumline when i was in 9th grade (because of reasons such as yours and also because i was getting beat up and such by other drumline members because they hated me), but i realize now that that would have been a huge mistake since drums takes up a lot of my time now.

Hope i helped a litte and that you solve your problems.

sorry to hear that. when ever im down i just play my drum.

My parents are all into music and everything everyone but my mom plays and instrument. But i still get those poeple that dont understnad why i try so hard. I have had other people in the band ask me why the hell do you practice so much when you dont need to , to play the music we do every year. I tell them that i enjoy it and really cant stop playing becasue its becaome such a huge part of my life. They still dont understand but i dont feel bad becasue of it.
As for this stuff helping you in the future. here is a great example. you see how many people do DCI,Dca,wgi,and other circuits every single year. Well i doubt you will go through life without meeting other people who have done marching. It helps for having common ground when you say try to get a job or get into a college. If you can live with a group of a 150 people for 80 days on a bus then you can survive college. you can also use the arguement that kids who play music are smarter than those who dont.
lastly
If the wannabes get to be too bad jsut show em up once it worked for me. it just got the point where it was so annoying that i basically told them to put up or shut up and well i won it made it so much better becasue they stopped saying they are better than me and moved on to someone else. If they persist after that then jsut ignore them or you could ask them to stop.

i know how ya feel im that way a whole lot just what ido is keep my mind off things and lisen to music and think about everything and it usallly cheers me up

I think of it this way:
If the world pisses me off in any way, I will get revenge. If nobody likes me for who I am, I'll get my revenge. I get bad grades in school and people yell at me to do better. And I just completly ignore them. BEcause I know, someday I will get my revenge. Till then, my life is drumming.

Alright I know exactly about wannabe's. This year for indoor our first trumpet decided and reported to me that he was better than half the drumline. That really pissed me off. But you have to ignore it, and realize that these people are ignorant, and don't and prolly won't understand drumming. I could see how your parents/relatives are making this hard for you. They are prolly telling you to get some direction in your life and want you to get into some top noch school and this stuff. It will probably be hard to get them to understand what you love and that their priorities in life might not be what yours are. Try to show them that you have different goals in your life. Maybe they want you to be millionaire or something -- but tell them that's not what YOU want. If you ever feel what you are doing (drumming) isn't what you should be or something, because people are telling you its worthless, remember that you are doing it for yourself. Also for indoor, or any band activity keep in mind that you can't expect it to be as good as what you want it to be because the other members don't care like you do. That's tough but you have to. Strive not to make the line as good as yourself, but as good as you can make it.

well jsut becasue you drum doesnt mean you cant be a millionaire last i heard tommy lee isnt scrambling for change. You jsut do what you love becasue its what you love to do. sure you could sit in an office all day and tap on your desk with penils making a ton of money until you get fired for not working or you can stand on a football field in 100 weather telling kids how to read a drill chart for the first time and not make so much money. which one would you rather do i know i would rather stand on that football field.

Thanks you guys. My grandparents have seen me performed sinc they live in the same county I do. I encouraged them to come to the DCI Summer Music Games that came this summer but they said it was a waste of time. I really can't argue with them because is not worth it. They will always be right in their eyes. My grandmother has seen "Blast" on TV. I told her if we could go see the real thing when they come around again. She said of course it was a waste of time. The reason I play percussion is since I love it and I enjoy doing that. I enjoy people listening to the beats of our drumline and say hey I want to listen to them. I also enjoy playing softball since it's almost the same thing as percussion to me. I really don't want to go to a top notch school like they want me to. I'm going to Vanderbilt already and it's enough pressure already. They never say is good. They say it can be better. It's like my grades. I work my butt off sometimes and they say you can do better. Of course if I argue with them I probably get grounded. They never think anything that I do is good enough. So to them I basically suck

Chsgirl2 - Check the Drumming and Depression thread. There are some good suggestions there as well.

HOW can they say Blast! is a waste of time. I'm going to see it tomorrow night for the second time. [their last ever stop on their tour is Cleveland ] By the way, what do your parents do as a profession?

My mom is a supervisor of a company that handles science magazines orders and such. I don't know how they can say Blast was a waste of time too but I don't get them at all either.

MAM where could I find that thread????

Use the Search feature.

I think everyone hits plateaus like this every now and then. Getting out of them is what separates each scenario. I don't know exactly what to say simply because you'll find your own way to get out of it. But I can suggest a few things:

If you don't want to play, then don't play. It's important that you do what you want to do and what you like. Take a break for a few days/weeks/months. Maybe eventually you'll come across an old pair of sticks and start tapping and remember all the good things you got out of it. Remember, it sometimes takes one step down to go two steps up.

Don't let your relatives' opinions stand in your way. Sure, the attitudes of those around you can be effective of your opinion, but they are not the people that play. They are not you. You have your specific goals that you wish to achieve in your life.

I also want to add that Vanderbilt is a very good school, for both music and academics. I don't understand why your family wouldn't want you to go there. It's sad that your family doesn't support you in something you obviously love to do. They don't have to go to the DCI shows (I bet you're not interested in everything your grandmother does) to show affection but what they are doing, but they don't seem to show any true emotion about it. Maybe they'll see what you currently see if you give them time, just like your mom does.

This sort of relates to my first suggestion, but it's not as extreme. Find a new form of percussion to do. The great part about percussion is that there are a myriad amount of options to follow through. You could play set, or world percussion, or even go to a few drum circles. The best part about drum circles is that they're much more relaxed than the structured form of marching.

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be the option that will truely make you feel good. Hope you find your true calling and make the best of it.

I know this is hard but do not let other people 's actions stop you from doing what you love

personally, i think that all people get down every now and then. i know i do. in fact im not feeling so great right now either. the only thing i can recomend is to try not to think about it. drumming helps me but as you so plainly put it, it doesnt help you. i cant really recomend anything to you. im sorry though.

i don't know....but lemme ask you something. how is your attitude while you're playing and with your instructor? if you're angry or upset a lot, then people might think you're trying to get it over with as fast as possible. that's not playing from the heart. [and i'm not saying that you aren't, or that you are rushing through it. fyi.] so just an idea....

A few years ago i was also really depressed a lot. I just was depressed about everything, when there wasnt to be anything depressed about.

I still remember like it was yesterday...At the begining of my 8th grade year i just said forget it. I didnt want to be depressed anymore, and i wanted to feel better about everything...I dont know how i did it, and it may sound stupid, but i just wasn't depressed anymore. My whole personality was turned around in the matter of days, but at the price of two years of depression. I also noticed that if i had stayed depressed, i may have never done anything with drumming...might have never joined the Drumline or percussion ensemble or do anything, for that fact, and it scares me.

Now i am just about always happy. And everytime i think of something that has the potential to depress me, i just push it out of my mind or think that everything will work out. The main thing that helped me was finding something to look forward to every week, like practice, or goin out to eat...many different things to pick.

Another thing that helped me climb out of the endless hole of depressen was this phrase:

"What ever happens, happens."

That helped me realize that if i did something that made me stressed or get depressed about, it showed me that it has happened and there is nothing i can do but make it better.

I hope that some of that helps you.

drummerbabe before marching season was over I just to be happy around contests, football games, and practices. Some people got in my nerves at practice but hey that happens to all of us. I'm going to the doctor and we are working on making me happy. He suggested drugs but I said no. Hopefully changing my classes will help a little bit. 2 of my buddies are helping me also which is good since I have them there for me. I hate the fact that sometimes I can't sleep anymore. I wish this thing could go away. I have tried to say yes I can do whatever I have to do everyday. I wonder everyday when this thing is going to end. Music has helped a tiny bit during this.

hey there, I know the feeling, but families never let families down. I was once IN a high school line as the center and they never understood my style either. You seem like you want to be there right? So don't give up hope because they don't like the way you smile or play. As for being depressed, everyone can be that way at one point in there life or another. YOu just have to be able to find a true friend to talk to, find something that makes you happy. (Even singing in the shower, someday you could find its something yuo do well. I got a medal for that one) JUst be happy with everything you do, even if others put you down for it.

And always remember we love you!

A waste of time! Drumming a waste of time! Come on! what kind of figures are you looking up to? They don't sound like they care too much about YOU! Why is it wrong to see you happy? Do they not know that drumming makes you happy? What DO they think is a good investment of you time then? As for the director, well I have the same problem with mine. What I do is just play. I know that it is frustrating and it is kinda embarrassing in front of all of your friends but hey YOU know that you can play and that is all that matters. I understand the feelings that you feel when the director tells you to play from the heart. When it happens to me I want him to shupt up and move on instead of picking on me.
Anyways, don't give up your hobbies. Just because your grand parents don't understand the joy of drumming,don't let that be a reason to be sad. Keep playing softball if that makes you happy. Your happiness SHOULD be the most important thing to you parents which leads me to wonder why they aren't behind you 100%.

I really hope that this helps you. I dunno if you will ever read this but remember that there ARE people that care. Now, be happy again! Okay?

I hate it when people imitate us, or ask do you do anything besides drumming. And it really, really makes me mad when people in concert BAND think field band and drum corps are stupid. For you, I would just say ignore what everybody says and just follow your dreams and what YOU want to do. For when you are felling down just go to a happy place. Remember were always here for you.